As of about thirty minutes ago I successfully completed my Real Estate Pre-Licensing course with a passing final exam score. Hollapraize. For a moment, the failure to achieve a perfect score made the whole big relief feel like a disappointment, and not worth entirely celebrating. But God is and has been so faithful and merciful and kind.

That I was even able to take the course was, itself, a miraculous glory-story. And. I am learning to process my emotions as they roll through . . . not necessarily riding every wave that ebbs my board, but calling the set for what it is: relief and disappointment mingled with thankfulness and joy and hope and humor. This month has been a messy one.

But as of about thirty minutes ago,

I successfully completed my Real Estate Pre-Licensing course with a passing final exam score.

Selah. The victory that overcomes the world is not our flawlessness. It’s our faith.

In uncovering the likelihood that I am probably not as well-adjusted as I have heretofore believed myself to be, I’m seeing that my desires may have long been distorted. And so much of my life narrative has been honed in on what I thought I wanted. So there are big things shifting. And there have been . . .

Today, I was thinking about the times I have been Sure. Mostly about men, ha. And I had another moment of fleeting clarity . . . about the areas in my heart in which I have most painfully {and repeatedly} come to the end of myself . . .

And if I had been honest and healthy all along, how would my life be different?

But the victory that overcomes the world is our faith, not our flawlessness. My faith, not my flawlessness. And to God be the glory for the good that He has worked on my behalf.

I am celebrating with Chick-Fil-A chocolate chip cookies {obviously, ha} that I collected on my way home from work in anticipation of passing and Honey Chamomile Tulisi Tea and play . . . by way of The Sims 2. Ha. My virtual barbie has fish to catch in her homestead pond and vegetables to grow and a dog named Vino to walk.

And I have – in my Good Shepherd – the deep, unconditional love and infallible security I have longed for in wanting to be called to something different. I have – in The Vine – all the juice I need to keep on growing . . . higher and taller and more fruitful than I’ve been willing to grow before.

. . . & &

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